Moving... Why are some of us scared to move? Moving out is like a major step you take in your life. Its a new change to what your use to. It is either good or bad and sometimes its in between. Its scary for some of us. The reason why its so scary for some of us is because its that "BIG" thing called the unknown. Your afraid of what might happen in the unknown so moving or anything that requires change, becomes scary.
So has most of you all know according to facebook, i am moving. First off, i knew i had to move sometime in my near future but i didn't know it would be this soon. We knew our landlord wanted to sell the house that we are in simply because she doesn't want nothing to do with it anymore. She simply is getting "too old". But like i said we never thought it would be this sudden. Well, anyways, we had offered her a plan. It was a rent to own type of plan. she wouldn't have anything to do with the house other than take the rent for the next three years. After that, billy and i sign papers and the house is ours. But no. She didn't want to go for that plan. She simply refused. So, at that point, we knew we had to move. Yes, i am a grown woman but i will admit that i was extremely upset, hurt, and sad. At first, i felt like i didn't want to move. this house was mine. i have lived here for like 16 years or so. I felt like a part of me was going to be taken away and that i will never be able to make it better again. I then started to think about my Grandma. I started thinking if i move, i will be leaving everything about her, in this house. and i couldn't possibly do that. Like all of these emotions started to take over and i began to cry and cry. i cried on Billy's shoulder for quite sometime trying to make sense of what i just heard. But in my mind, it didn't make sense and it was stupid because this was my house. In reality, it wasn't.
When my Grandma passed away 6 years ago, i began to feel her around me and even in the house I'm in now. It was pretty cool. some people might not think so, but i do. its pretty awesome! LOL! Well, a while back, we had found out that we have to move eventually but we never had to move then because the house didn't sell so we were able to stay here longer. Well, when we found out about us moving last year, i no longer felt my Grandma in the house. It was like her spirit disappeared. I don't know why and i don't how. it just did. As i got over my depressed mood about moving i suddenly started thinking why my Grandma's spirit was no longer in the house. It was because she knew we weren't going to be in this house forever. She knew that we were going to be moving soon so she left. I started thinking that maybe shes waiting for us to get this new house so her spirit could be with us again. Just had to share this!
Anyways, with all of this moving junk, is stress. I have been so stressed about everything its not even funny! I don't know why. i guess maybe I'm one of those people i hate waiting around, id rather get things done so i don't have to worry about it later on. But the other 2 people that i live with aren't like that. So it makes it very very hard and STRESSFULL! Among all of this stress is bickering and arguing and even fighting. Nothing physical. but still fighting. Its insane. I feel badd about arguing with my boyfriend and grandfather but I'm just stressed. i cant help it! At the same time though, i should totally know how to control myself and my stress and my anger so things don't get out of hand and then in the long run, hurting anyone feelings. Especially since i just did a blog on acting on your feelings and saying things you don't mean just because your mad. I guess I'm just so excited about moving now and I'm anxious to start decorating and planning and all kinds of things. That i just forget about reality and that this stuff takes time and patience. And those are 2 things i cannot stand! LOL!
Everything is happening so fast. I didn't think billy and i would ever find a house this quick and be moving into a house this quick. its all surreal. The plan of this house is a rent to own type of basis. We will be paying rent for the next three years. But some of the rent is getting taken out and put towards the down payment on the house for when the 3 years is up. That is the day either billy signs to buy or both of us signs to buy. But i honestly see the house as ours already. Even if we are just renting at that moment after we move in because we aren't going anywhere for quite sometime, so yeah. Thinking about it the other day just really bought tears to my eyes because we have been dreaming of this day for so long. We at the moment thought it was never going to happen. Like at one point, i hate to admit it, but, we just gave up hope. I did at first, but i secretly kept in contact with God. I never strayed him. I always talked to him in prayer and asked him when the time is right, could he please help us. And he eventually did. i know we don't go to church every Sunday or Wednesday but we do honestly believe in him and trust in him with our life. Not having a vehicle makes it hard to go to church everyday or every Sunday. but you best to believe we are going in the near future right after we move in and get settled in and then buy a vehicle. We are going back to church. We miss. I miss it a lot. Its like a emptiness that i cant fill. So i definitely know that its because i don't go to church. Everything is starting to fall into place in our lives and i cannot wait until God gives us more of what we need in our life. We are truly grateful to him that this is all happening. Our 5th year anniversary will be celebrated in our new house! I am so excited!
Never steer fast of your dreams. You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it! Never give up hope and keep believing in yourself. && never ever, give up on the Lord. Always always, trust in him. You may not see an outcome right away, but just keep praying to him and trusting in him with your life and good things will come.
"Good things come to those who wait"
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