30 Day Blog Challenge!

Day 27- A problem you have or have had in the past.

Hello! So today has been a very icky day. First off it was really really cold considering this past Saturday was in the 70's. Then it started raining which is horrible. Cold and wet doesn't do my bones any good. LOL! Then finally the old s word rolled in the mix. Yes SNOW! I couldn't believe my eyes today. Like hello we are in spring, it should not be snowing! Seriously, "GO home Mother nature, you're drunk!" haha! Anyways, back to the challenge! Day 27 wants me to write about a problem that i have or have had in the past. Hmmm, this challenge is gonna be a serious one! ...and I'm off!

So, A problem that i have had in the past would be wearing my heart on my sleeve when it came to my friends. It was almost as if i was in a serious relationship with a guy or something. I always seemed to care a lot about my friends and worried about my friends. So i guess you could say i was rather like the mother hen with my friends. *Take note* it does not work out! It doesn't work because my friends already have parents that tell them what to do and blah blah blah. So for your friend to do the same exact thing, is not cool. I see that now. But in my defense what do you expect from a friend who is like 3-4 maybe even 5 years older than you?!? They always asked me my opinion and then suddenly get mad when i answered. They always talked about me behind my back and then smile in my face like we were best friends. I would confront them and they would suddenly flip the situation and say I'm being a b****. So i would let it go. It was like i was in a abusive relationship but instead of a guy or boy it was with my friends. 

For me always caring and always worrying about my friends was something i felt i had to do. I felt like i needed to be there for them. I didn't know at the time i was actually pushing my friends away rather than pushing them closer. I mean I'm a very honest person. If you ask me what i think about something I'm going to tell you. I'm very blunt and straight forward. That trait too is hard when you've got friends. but again in my defense in my opinion i would rather have someone tell me the truth to my face then lie and stab me in the back. I don't know that's just how i feel. I'm that friend that will tell you if your making a mistake if you ask me, I'm that friend that is going to tell you that outfit makes you look fat, I'm that friend that is going to tell you that you made a fool of yourself when we went out drinking, I'm that friend that is going to tell you that guy your with was just hugging and kissing some other girl, I'm that friend that is going to tell you that i love you even though you made those mistakes and that I'm here for you if you need me, I'm that friend that if you call me in the middle of the night and i have a vehicle i will come and get you now matter how far it is and then tell you what the hell were you thinking! I'm THAT friend! And i expect the same in return!

Ive gone through a lot of friends over the years. Most of them ended pretty badly, & some just kind floated away with the wind. I don't regret how the ones ended pretty badly because it was meant to happen. i was pretty heartbroken about it at first but after i started sitting down and actually running the whole friendship in my head, i suddenly didn't feel bad or heartbroken anymore. I finally seen what i was suppose to see all along i was just to blind and too young to know better. They are lessons learned in my life. "I cannot change the hands of time" like my momma always says but I can however move forward knowing that I am a stronger because i got through it! Loosing friends has made me a better person. I see what i was doing wrong and i saw what they were doing wrong. Ive made some changes but i haven't let what happened in the past bring me down either. I'm still the same old person i just made some finer adjustments! I know longer where my heart on my sleeve anymore. Its nicely tucked away. it comes out only if only those people are the right ones! Plus, billy has stolen my heart so it makes it kinda hard to wear on my sleeve! ;) haha!

So, even after everything i still ended up having a best friend. The others came and gone but she has stuck through it all. We've had our ups and downs, our arguments, our fights that we don't talk for like a couple of months, etc. But deep down she is still my best friend. She let me tell you has put up with ALOT of S*** from me. I have put up with ALOT of ish from her! I mean we are gonna bump heads a little bit because we are just alike. Crazy i know! But we are! Our attitude and anger is alot like! We get so mad at each other so fast, its like tornado! But i love it! I love everything about her! I know right now she is going to end up reading this and i want her to because i want her to know how much i care about her! How much i love her and i always will! She knows everything about me! My faults, my weaknesses, my strengths, what i love, what i hate, everything!!! I know right now she doesn't feel like i care about her or that our friendship doesn't mean anything but it does! I will always cherish our friendship because she is the only one who stuck by me when everything else bailed or f***** me over! Her name is Jess, Jessica Dibuono! In my heart and soul we will always and forever be best friends! 

So, there you have it! Day 27! I feel rather relieved to have done this blog! I feel like I've gotten a lot of my chest! it feels good! 

Until next time, 
"Walking with a friend in the dark, is better than walking alone in the light"-Helen Keller